'Tis the season for giving and receiving, so get ready to get a bunch of junk you don't want. What a beautiful thing that we reserve a special time of year to come together to celebrate. I love presents, but sometimes the thought is a lot better than the actual gift. We've all received stuff we don't need or want during the holidays. Sometimes disposing of these gifts can be tricky for a variety of unique reasons, but I'm here to help you to get rid of the holiday crap.
Hoard It
Are you the type of person who has to keep everything!? Fine, then put the useless item in a self storage unit or in your basement to gather dust and never be used again. Or even better yet, let it take up the limited counter space in your home, so every spring cleaning when you dust around it you can remember the poor taste of your dead Aunt Susie.
Make it Into a Toy for Your Pet
Another set of ugly, seasonal dish towels? I have no idea why people think I need so many dish towels, but I've just started giving them to my dogs to chew on. Don't limit this idea to just dish towels, dogs and cats will play with anything. For cats rub a little cat nip on that ugly sweater, and you may have just received the world's cheapest cat bed.
Pretend to be Buddhist
Or you can even become Buddhist if you want to go extreme. Say that you want to live with the least among of things possible, so you can truly appreciate the important things in life. Seems like a good excuse as any to get rid of all the bad gifts you received over the year, and not to mention all that other sentimental junk you've been storing in a hidden cardboard box. That is right, I'm the Santa of junk, and I SEE all the clutter you've been keeping around for no apparent reason. Taking up Buddhism is also a good way to get out of any future gift exchanges, secret Santas, etc.
Ask for a Receipt
Why not be the sane person in your family, friend, co-workers to suggest giving the receipts with the gift. Then of course you know who is cheap and who is excessive, but honestly most of us can guess who that is without knowing how much a gift costs. Or you can continue the passive-aggressive pattern of gift-giving where everyone owns excessive amounts of junk they don't want in their homes, because guess what, those who receive your gifts probably don't like them half the time either.
Re-Gift It
Give some other poor soul that scented candle that says Midnight Tangerine, but really just smells like a retirement home. It will save you some money and clutter.
Donate It
Some people actually need the sweaters, candles, CDs, etc. that us fortunate folk take for granted. Stop by Good Will or wherever, and your unwanted items will make someone's day. After exploiting the holiday bar tab at the company Christmas party, you are need all the good karma you can get.
Sell It on E-Bay or Craigslist
Who couldn't use a little extra doe? I recommend waiting a little while after Christmas, because everyone will be on there trying to sell the gifts they don't want the day after Christmas. By spring though people will be desperate again for your second-hand goods for great prices.
Throw It Away
If the item is old, gross, well-used or just useless, just throw it away. Or maybe you just feel no good will towards man kind, and would rather contribute to the world's land fill than do anything good for society. No shame in that, we've all been there- especially after having to hear your drunk, republican uncle rant over the annual family Christmas gathering.
Happy Holidays!
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